Thoughts and feelings...

Well today I had a crazy idea. I thought it would be a good day to try on my year 12 formal dress. I graduated in 2006 and that was the first and only time I actually wore the dress. I remember trying it on in 2008 because I thought it would be a good dress to wear to a party I was going to and it did not fit. The last time I tried it on was November 2011 and I thought to myself "Wow I used to fit into this" it was sooooo small the zipper only did up half way and I was so upset. Today the zip just went up perfectly, I was shocked. To make it better it was a little too big!! I was so shocked. I took a photo and sent it to all my friends to show them all my hard work had paid off. Then I got thinking "am I really smaller than I was in highschool!!!" To confirm I went and found my old work shirt that I wore after I graduated and it fitted too I was amazed and so happy. Even though I still have a long way till goal weight it was a great boost to have this dress fit me today and reminded me that I am 1/3 of the way there and I can do this =D

my progress so far =)

Ok so it has been sooooo long since I have posted a blog. I have actually been using a site called myfitnesspal.com which has been fantastic for motivation and calorie counting. I was lucky enough to find some very motivational friends from around the world who have similar goals in mind. I have been on uni holidays since May and amazingly enough my diet has changed in such a positive way. I have also discovered the importance of fat consumption in dieting (by the  hard way I might add). I have learn't that everything has to be in the right balance in order for the weight to come off. As I work shifts it is hard for me to organise my meals but I have been very strict on when I wake up, regardless of the time, it is breakfast time. Then of course lunch and then dinner. My breakfast meal is usually either boiled eggs on multigrain toast or porridge and low fat yogurt. Depending of the shift I am doing I will either have a bigger lunch or a bigger dinner but I will have a smaller meal for the other meal. My smaller meal has mostly been either a chicken or tuna salad or as a little treat easy mac. For the larger meal of the day I like to have something very vegetable based. I have actually started making my own vegetable mince with my food processer which is fantastic!! At first I added a little tiny bit of meat and I actually had to tell my fiance that it was actually mostly made of vegetables. I have also explained by dieting and how important it was to my fiance and he was more than happy to join me, which was great because that minimised the amount of temptation food which was in the house. I brought both of us special salad containers which we can take to work (mines pink his is green lol) and it is just basically routine now to make the lunches the night before. While I still have a while left of my uni holidays I have already decided how I can keep my routine in order when I return. This semester I will be working 4 shifts (8hrs per shift) per week while attending uni full time. This is actually a MASSIVE workload but I think I will be ok, I enjoy being challenged and this will certainly test me =) I have decided to have the bulk of my classes on the days I am not working and if I have to have one on a day that I am working so I am not having 16hr days 2-3 days a week. I had a year and a half of that and found that on my days off all I would do was catch up on missed sleep lol.

I am actually so proud of myself and my progress I have made with both uni and my weight loss. Alot of people I know have done the whole hard work out sessions at the gym and intense food limitations but in my fridge you will be able to find tim tams and freddo frogs. I have actually only stepped in a gym 3 times since November 2011 and I have lost almost 20kg!! I have had so many people jump to conclusions like "Oh what are you taking??" or " Are you doing a shake diet??" and the most annoying one "Do you have diabetes??" the answer to those are nothing, no and NO!!! I hate that people assume that I have not been doing any hard work just because I haven't gone to the gym or live off lettuce. I have based my exersise on something I know that I will continue to do forever not just till I am healthy. So many people I know that have lost weight by intense gym work outs and food limitations have regained every bit of weight on and I really don't want that to be me. I basically developed my own little program which includes healthy eating and plenty of exercise. If I feel like something I will have it because I know if I don't the craving will increase and in the end I will give in and go crazy and eat every single thing in sight. If I get it over and done with I am more likely to just eat an appropriate portion and avoid a massive binge.

Well that is my rant for tonight. I will try to be more consistant with my posts =)

Talk soon xx

Gah...

So I am in the worst frame of mind at the moment... Had potato wedges for lunch today and planning on having 2 min noodles for dinner =/ This is my last week of actual classes at uni, so I have made a promise to myself that starting Thursday I WILL go for at least a 1 hr walk every day that I can, which is about 5 days a week atm. I WILL eat properly, no more potato wedges or 2 min noodles lol.a I WILL loose a minimum of 20kg by the end of the year. Now all I need to do is do it lol... I feel so bad while I am at uni learning all about how obesity has an impact on your health and all the things I am at a high risk of getting, it makes me feel really awful but at the same time I just feel so numb to it all. Like I think "oh that won't happen to me". Where did my awesome motivation go... Guess I will have to find it *Sigh*

Where did the time go...

Ok so I have been so busy lately, with working so much and having an intense amount of uni work and a crazy amount of bills to pay made me kind of forget about myself. On the plus side I haven't gained any weight, but in saying that I haven't really lost any either... I find that if I don't take the time out for myself I tend to find other ways to de-stress and this time it has resulted in finding comfort in chocolate =/ I tried to change my "comfort food" to the new strawberry flavoured tic tacs but that didn't last. I was doing the grocery shopping yesterday and while knowing I was spending the entire day at uni tomorrow I thought "Hmmm I should get a big bag of M & M's so I can sit in the library all day and do my assignment"... Well I soon caught myself on that one and quickly put a bag  of sugar free honey and eucalyptus drops into the trolley. They actually go really well with water and take a long time to disolve in your mouth which means I won't be eating the entire bag in one study session. Also they have quite a strong aftertaste which makes things (like chocolate) taste funny. I have noticed the more little changes I make the more I get used to things, for example a month ago I thought that water was so bland and all I could drink was diet cordial. Which is really odd because previously I loved the taste of water and hardly had cordial. So I simply stopped buying cordial. At first it was a little difficult, but now I don't even think of cordial or any sweet drinks. To me that is a little bit of a win =D

Well I really should get back to this assignment.

Talk soon xo

Take 2...

Ok so my local gym which I attended had a promotion for $200.00 PLUS your member fees they will actually give a damn about you, take an interest in you and tell you to how to do a shake diet (NOTE: $200.00 does NOT include shakes).... I was annoyed that I pay around $60 a month already and I get NO support at all. I am not over reacting either, I have been a member of there twice now, the first time for over 12 months and this time since November 2011. Since I have been there no one has asked reminded me to have a monthly weigh and measure, if I don't go no one tries to contact me and when I am lazy and don't go. I even feel as if I am 'not old' enough for their work out conversations. So today I told them that I was not going to continue my membership, after a long discussion over them wanting more of my money I was free and able to come up with more ways to exercise. This is what I have come up with....

1hr swim
1.5hr casual walk
1hr walk with hills
zumba session (DVD)
Streching workout (DVD)
Yoga session (DVD)
Fit ball workout
Outdoor exercise routine (Sit ups, push ups, lunges etc)

And I am sure I can add to my list as I get fitter lol.

And now here is a list of all the things I could buy with the money I saved from the gym membership

A new item of clothing per month
New shoes
Save more money for the wedding
well lets just say anything I want lol =D

I feel like this is a new start for me. I have lost 10kg without a gym so I guess I can do it again. I might consider joining another gym if I run out of exercise ideas but at the moment I really want to stay membership free =)

Well I better get going.

Talk soon xox

So much for keeping it daily...

Hello!!

Really bugged that I haven't been able to update as often as I would have liked... But that doesn't mean that I haven't been keeping up with my new lifestyle... I have been going to the gym, doing my walks, eating better then I used too and I have lost 2kg in the last week =D I know that I won't be loosing 2kg every week but it is an awesome feeling!!
I have been working on a massive assignment and a few times I have caught myself wanting 'comfort food' but I have stopped myself from going all out and binging on something I know I will regret. I have a supply of caramello koalas (the little ones) and I have made a promise to myself that if I feel like I want to run to the comfort food, I can have one caramello koala BUT I can only have one a day. I have actually only had one since Saturday which is awesome lol. On top of this assignment I have still had to work and I have had some stressful shifts and felt like I wanted to go to maccas and everything will be ok.. I have found the absolute best way to stop this!!! I have stopped taking money to work, therefore no money = no maccas!! It is working fantastically lol =P Well I really need to get back to this assignment.

Talk soon xox

Cleanse, tone, moisturise and exercise

Ok so its officially day 2 of my blogging/weightloss thing. I woke up at 6:45am and went for a 1.5hr walk, go me!!! =D I am going to make the best effort I can to make exercise a part of my daily routine. I have also started using actual face cleansing products, I find that every time I used them I would feel like the most prettiest girl in the world and I felt fantastic about myself. Really I am a girly-girl at heart, but I don't really show it much. When I used to go out, I felt that people would think I would look aweful in my make up and nice clothes because of my size. I used to just 'play it safe' and probably still do at times but now I really try to not care what other people think. Yes I am overweight, but not everyone has absolutely perfect health. I often think that people are able to see my problem but that doesn't mean they should judge because they are not perfect either, and if they knew me then they would know that I care and I am trying my best to change how I am...

Right now I am feeling a little sore after my gym sesh yesterday, but pain means ITS WORKING!!! =D  I also actually enjoyed my 1.5hr walk this morning. I am lucky to have  a river nearby so I had a nice riverside view. I also decided that I am going to put my Japanese language disks onto my mp3 player so I can practice (in my head lol) while I am walking. I used to go to a night class 2 nights a week to learn Japanese and I loved it. But last year I decided to start a nursing degree at uni, which took up the time I used to learn Japanese. I am a bit rusty at the moment but if you were to send me to Tokyo right now I am sure I could survive =) My nursing degree has been such a fantastic life change. I was working 5 days a week in an office which was just depressing. One day I woke up and decided that I was going to quit. So I did. It was the most refreshing thing I have ever done lol. The same day I applied to go to uni (as well as applying for several jobs because I did't have anything to go too). Within 2 weeks I had a job and an offer for uni... It was meant to be =D

I know it is only officially day 2, but I feel so fantastic at the moment =D Tomorrow is a gym day, if I stick to my plan (Which I really hope to do!!!) it will be the first time since December 2011 that I have gone to the gym at least 2 days in the same week!!! I have just been too lazy over the last... well too many months lol =P I have decided that Sunday morning will be my official 'weigh day' and I will post my weightloss efforts for the week. I also decided (while walking past the pool this morning) that when it is warm enough on my non-gym days instead of walking an extra hour, I will go to the pool instead. I have heard alot of negativity about using swimming as an exercise in weightloss, but I tried it a few times last year and really liked it. I didn't really notice any negative results.
I have also decided that my 'weightloss rewards system' is going to go like this (Note: it will prob change at least another 10 times before I reach my 'ultimate goal' lol)

5kg loss - Eyebrow wax (this will really encourage me to get there because right now they are just scary lol)

10kg loss - Pandora bead

15kg loss - A new item of clothing

20kg loss - High tea with the girls

25kg loss - Dinner at a Japanese resturant with my fiance

30kg loss - Pandora bead

35kg loss - High tea with the girls

40kg loss - Start trying on wedding dresses

45kg loss - Well I haven't decided but it will be something amazing =D I'd like to say a cruise around the world but we will let the finances decide on that one lol =P